We as a society do not take kindly to people showing grief. We find it troubling, even mawkish. Well, you can grieve, but not for too long. The chief reason, I found out after the death of my father in 1980, was that prolonged grief interferes with productivity, with commerce and with busyness.
A few days of leave and we are expected to return to school, work, life. Back to normal, as if nothing extraordinary happened. But grief is a normal part of life. If we ignore or side-step this mourning ritural, it will return. And in ways that debilitate us. Our bodies will tell us to stop and grieve.
It takes courage to listen to your heart and to grieve.
Back to 'normal', right?! When the grieving is the new normal...
Absolutely. Grief is a part of life that is cut short, covered up, evicted, expelled, not allowed to exist. If we don't live it, it will debilitate us, as you say. It may even kill us.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experience on this.
Our society fails to speak of death and dying as if that will keep it from arriving. When the time comes too many are unprepared. Following my mother’s example I spoke to my children of death early in their life. I took them to funerals and allowed them to see grief expressed which offered opportunities to help them understand it’s purpose and to be less afraid. We always used any appropriate time to discuss and each of them eventually came to terms with their own inevitable end.
As a RN working in many areas of nursing including hospice I saw the difference in how people handled their own death based on how much they had grown in understanding and acceptance. Many or most were terrified and it drew out their suffering for weeks, months or years. They were not capable of living or dying, only suffering the wait. It seems dying is a voluntary process and for fearful souls they simply couldn’t let go. This also drew out the suffering for all who loved them. They visited a body who neither spoke or looked at them. This was painful to watch. Eventually everyone let’s go and I can only imagine the horror their journey from body to wherever we go after.
Thank you so much, Sammie, for this confirmation. You, following in your mother's footsteps, are a wise woman.
I have seen people dying. I've held some hands as their owners left this earthly body behind. But that was a long time ago, during my gap year, working in Jerusalem on a terminal cancer ward.
I've also had the honour to witness my mother in law during her final weeks ~ as afraid of dying as she had been of living. It became clear to me that fear of death and fear of living go together. What I didn't know is that it can also affect the duration of this process. So sad. What a missed opportunity.
Thank you for the words that you share with us. My wife, also an RN, worked early in her career in nursing homes and other such places where the elderly were placed. She confirms what you said about how some are better prepared for death and the subsequent process of grieving.
Outer courage is synonymous with bravery, boldness, fearlessness and the antipode to cowardice.
Inner courage is no emotion either. Inner courage is a quality of being and becoming.”
Spiritualty. Being aware of Being. A Heart to Soul journey. The journey from imitation to creation. To Be. Into the now of here. Present. A soul having a human experience. Inside to outside to Inside. A widening circle. Rippling. Cuore-Age. The only way. Home.
“Courage doesn’t require grand gestures. Our own heart may simply nudge us to take small steps towards our own truth, following the still small voice of the soul.”
Follow that voice. It comes as a feeling. It sings as a knowing. It screams as a growing. Love always. Love all ways. A cuore-odyssey.
Another beautiful stirring piece Veronika. This tapestry of the Symbiocene is unfolding all around me.
The link you are making between courage and curiosity (sort of) is an intriguing one I hadn't thought of. Especially since the word 'cure' is related to 'care'. And 'care' originally meant 'sorrow, anxiety, grief'... and then Lao Tzu's quote "from caring comes courage"...
You are closing the epic circle.
I also love this image 'the tapestry of the Symbiocene' as I am stitching the words into the canvas, one wordcast at a time...
Veronika, I really enjoyed this post. I wish I had come across it when I was a teenager, but now is also a great time—it's always a good time to learn something new. Thank you for the book recommendation. I will definitely look into Cynthia Li's work. In one of my explorations into understanding the psychoanalytical aspects behind disease, particularly while writing about skin conditions, I found that autoimmune diseases can often be a response to some sort of inner conflict—where the self is fighting against itself. It's our psyche's way of signaling the conflict we need to 'address' and 'process'. I’m starting to feel less confident in using technical psychological terms. It somehow feels like I’m stripping away the emotions behind them. I’m searching for a language that’s more in tune with the real nature of these experiences, and you’ve been very helpful.
The surfacing of grief is so important for physical healing. All is connected.
Linking "Courage was defined as strength of the soul" with the body, and recognizing, remembering, and acknowledging what was simply passed over as a fact—but not truly processed—requires courage, an open heart, and all the meanings of courage. I love how you've structured all the content and the heartwarming way you write about words and their meanings. I find it very inspiring and valuable, plus all the beautiful things Jamie said :)). Thank you!
Thank you, Katerina, as always I am delighted by your feedback and commentary!
As you (perhaps) know, I have been working my way through these topics since 1997 ~ that's about the past 27 years. I have arrived at a place where I feel no longer burdened or hindered by psychological terms or scientific language. I use these jargons like any other source and follow my own explorations.
In order to do that it is important to have your own key question(s), to know as precisely as possible which lens(es) you are using when examining a topic.
My lenses are 'subjective experience' and 'thinking like the Symbiocene' or a 'symbiocentric mindset'. I look at every topic I choose to write about through these two lenses (either one or the other or both) and find words that fit best into this context. This is tremendously freeing. I no longer feel beholden to a particular 'scientific jargon' ~ especially if the mindset behind that language is not what I want to convey or confirm.
Yes, scientific terminology (psychology has been striving for decades to be recognised as a science so we can include this here) has to strip away the emotions because emotions are subjective. And science is objective.
My writing is explicitly subjective. This doesn't mean I am presenting some personal 'emotional vomit' (there may be different places for that genre but it's not mine).
I have learned over the years, that if you go deep with your own emotional experience and truly process it, while honouring and really listening to the Instinct as a valid Faculty of the mind, you always arrive at a truth which is surprisingly universal. I think that is what you are picking up when reading my wordcasts (or Synchronosophy chapters).
Yes, Veronika, I’m definitely picking up on it! Thank you for taking the time to share your insights. It’s been a synchronistic journey for me as well— I read my first psychology book in 1997, when I was 14, and began to question many things.
I admire your approach of highlighting subjective experience and following your own path. It’s inspiring how you’ve 'broken free' from the confines of scientific terminology to explore deeper truths. While formal language has served me well for many years, I agree it shouldn’t be a limitation, just as you said. I also believe personal reflection can lead to universal understanding. Thank you for these exchanges; they’ve been truly helpful.
When the body can’t remove all the toxins thrown at us through normal means, it comes through the skin. I have dealt with skin issues for years and feel grateful my body is brilliant enough to rid them in any possible manner. There are methods of reducing skin issues.
Yes, exactly! Our body's capacity has its limits, but it also signals something deeper. I’d like to add that our skin is not just a barrier but a connection between our inner and outer worlds. It’s the first receptor of information, storing memories from our earliest experiences of (un)love and (neglect)care. Many skin issues in adulthood are linked to these early moments. Processing grief is essential not just for the soul, but also for healing the physical wounds that surface in the body.
Our fascia stores our memories or it stores our entire lifetime to some extent. When I was deathly sick after neck radiation and I’m terrible pain, I discovered fascia release. I went to a physical therapist and as she spoke to me and gently massaged my arms, shoulders and back I began to sob. It startled me actually as it’s not my nature to sob. She explained it was common if not an always to release everything stored in our emotional plane once the fascia is stimulated. The fascia is actually the largest organ in my opinion as it covers everything and is formed in utero as the container we grow in. Once I released the emotions I no longer had pain.
Absolutely fascinating, Sammie! Thank you so much. 💙 🙏 ♥️
I had a personal encounter with fascia too ~ not as powerful as yours but equally moving in the moment. It made me aware of the importance of the fascia as the largest (and not very well known) organ. I wrote about my experience in my wordcast Fascinating Fascia https://veronikabondsymbiopaedia.substack.com/p/fascinating-fascia and would be curious to have your expert feedback on this topic.
I love all the connections and words connected to fascia and all the different meanings. I have a love of words but you have a beautiful gift with words.
Trigger points are not well known in our society or even Medicine. My husband is a physical therapist and I was a RN for 25 years and we didn’t understand the prevalence of fascia injuries. You can’t get an image of the fascia so what is seen when you have an injury is most often called a muscle or tendon tear or bruise when in fact it’s often fascia. If it could be seen using medical equipment I’m sure we would have many more diagnosis of fascia involvement. Most massage therapist are very aware of how to treat fascia injuries. I’ve also found many acupuncturists are familiar with how to treat such injuries with fascia injuries.
I had lost the ability to lift my left arm after cancer and radiation treatment. I couldn’t move it from the dropped hand position. I received no help from allopathy or homeopathy as they were stumped by why my hand dropped. It was years before I could put it all together (my speech and neurological system was not in good condition) but I realized it was because everything is connected, to fascia. If you hurt your shoulder it’s likely related to fascia and you may also experience pain in your foot or hip because the fascia is dry or tight and it is wrapped around almost everything. I think of fascia as the spirit in our body manifest into something physical. This is just my own way of understanding fascia. Because as you pointed out in your article it can be thoughts or emotions that get your fascia twisted, tightened or in some way altered. I believe we are born enclosed in the material we call fascia. When a baby is born we all know it’s wrapped in multi-layered materials. Some of it wipes off and some seems pulled off but some of it is part of the skin, or so it appears. I worked in labor and delivery and was always fascinated by how protected our babies are when they appear. I feel the fascia is sort of mixed in with skin and in a few days it’s under the skin. So in my opinion it’s a hidden part of us connecting every aspect of our physical body. It stores our lives sort of like what is called the Akash (spelling ) it’s our record of this life.
It was a beautiful synchronicity that you discovered the trigger points and realized what you did. I see many people suffer with pain for their entire lives because of misdiagnosis. A lot of back surgeries could and should be avoided by treating the fascia. I’ve never seen a positive outcome from back surgery. I’ve seen almost miracles, and experienced them, from proper treatment of our fascia.
This isn’t a scientific based response which I don’t think you were looking for. This is how I, using experience, critical thinking and intuition understand fascia.
Thank you for the invitation to share this as my purpose is to share all the healing information I have learned with as many people as possible.
Let me add the amazing benefits of DMSO. It’s the best way to treat most issues with not only fascia but most of the body. See A midwestern Doctor on sub-stack for great information on the many benefits of DMSO. Also, Amanda Volmer and many others write about the benefits of DMSO. I don’t leave home without some in my car.
oh wow! Thank you so much for your elaborate explanations.
"I think of fascia as the spirit in our body manifest into something physical."
I love that. It makes a lot of sense. In fact, since I've discovered fascia, a lot of what's going on in the body makes a lot more sense.
There is. a German 'pain-specialist' on youtube who says exactly the same thing about back pain: "A lot of back surgeries could and should be avoided by treating the fascia."
This is also interesting to me: "I believe we are born enclosed in the material we call fascia."
Perhaps there is a connection between being born inside a 'bundle of fascia' and ancestral trauma?
It’s a fascinating part of these bodies we borrow. It took me a while to really grasp how intricate it is. Science hasn’t yet fully defined fascia. I have the gift of seeing inward and it looks like plastic wrap. When it gets dry or tight it still looks like plastic wrap but with a fold or wrinkle.
Oh, this is sooo interesting, thank you for sharing! Your fascia release led to such an emotional and physical breakthrough really shows how deeply connected everything is. How it works as a container from the very start of our lives makes perfect sense when you think about how much it can store. That moment of unexpected release must have been so powerful!
Hi Veronika, thank you for another fascinating read that resonates deeply within my being. Grief has become an aspect of my being, as has gratitude. And of courage, of course these are all matters for and of the heart as your post explores. My own experience has shown that grief (when death related) makes people uncomfortable because of the collective fear of death - particularly in the belief that there is only one life. And grief, whilst a shared experience is equally a personal and private matter for one’s soul. Navigating grief through realising the gifts has assisted my ability to observe my humanness and with gratitude accept the gift of life. Still learning … thank you. 🙏💜✍🏻
You are very welcome, Simone. Thank you in turn, for sharing your experiences with grief so generously!!
Whenever I write or speak about grief I can't help but think of your powerful story. It is truly inspiring to witness your commitment to grief as a teacher ~ how you follow her calling wherever she takes you. Your griefwork, no matter how personal, is a great gift to the collective fear of grief (and death, and loss).
Very good. Thank you Veronika. I was going to just note Alasdair MacLean's 'After Virtue' account of Aristotelian virtues - courage as the cultivated virtue between recklessness and bravery, and his later contemplation of Christian virtues, drawing our attention to an example from Jane Austen's writing;1 'constancy'.
Then you hit us with Sophie Scholl. A song floated into my mind's 'goings on' (appreciate the term by the way) and a voice. 'White Rose of Athens', sold a million in Germany, I read, which was good.
Mouskeri later resigned from the EU parliament because her pacifism could not support wars.
I read lately meticulous accounts by young Jewish people in London of their drawing a line against the barbarities of total war perpetrated in the name of their heritage and am reminded of the atrocities of WW2 including not least the fate wreaked on German and Japanese cities, endiing with two atom bombs. There have been a great many wars and atrocities since. 'White Rose Live Again' in grief. 'Be of Good Cheer', Kingsnorth reminded us over the weekend.
thank you Philip for such a thoughtful comment! My high school in Germany was called Geschwister Scholl Gymnasium, which made me think of Sophie Scholl... So the White Rose and the tragedy associated with it was always very present for me.
I remember Nana Mouskouri as a singer, but didn't recall that she was a politician too. Weiße Rosen aus Athen... OMG I'd completely forgotten that one... giving me goose bumps as I'm listening to it now, in the light of this information 'her pacifism could not support war'...
I’m reflecting on this piece and drawing its opening and closing together into a full circle where the courage to grieve perhaps reveals the soul where the depths of our despair fans the flames of courage (as young Sophie did). Thanks for another thought-provoking offering Veronika!
Thank you for this image, Kimberly. I'm now seeing an Ensō circle drawn around and through this wordcast ~ as well as around and through every life that invites a human soul to voice her inner and outer courage ∞
What a wonderful post, Veronika. I love reading all the comments and seeing so many directions we can go when talking about courage. The courage to grieve is profound...letting our hearts break open instead of being closed off to our feelings. The social courage of being vulnerable with our tears, or processing grief in a group like Weller's work, embracing the ritual of tending our hearts together. The courage to grieve AND to keep living, to really live, surely go hand in hand.
I really appreciate the expanded view of courage you've presented. I have been focused on the types of courage that Rollo May named in his 1975 book The Courage to Create, and especially resonated with creative courage. Creative courage includes art and music and dance, the courage to appreciate art, beauty and nature, AND is also about creating a life, creating community, creating innovative ideas for quality improvement, and solutions for the benefit of society and earth, creating safe and brave environments for learning, engaging and relating to each other.
I later came across the term Collective Courage that was coined by social activist Bree Newsome who is known for climbing a flagpole at the South Carolina state house and pulling down the Confederate flag in June 2015. She inspired me to see that collective courage means working together for the common good and is a form of social justice and activism whether one benefits directly or not. It’s not about a heroic leader at the forefront.
Newsome said in a statement to Blue Nation Review, “I realized that now is the time for true courage the morning after the Charleston Massacre shook me to the core of my being.” She emphasized that her courage to act in that moment was never about one woman. “This action required collective courage just as this movement requires collective courage. […] Whether the topic is trending nationally or it’s an issue affecting our local communities, those of us who are conscious must do what is right in this moment. And we must do it without fear. New eras require new models of leadership.”
Instead, we see so much false outer courage in "leaders" today -- glorified brashness or bravado -- that is only about feeding the ego or comes from fear of looking less than you are.
I feel like our society, globally, is in desperate need of collective courage, AND courage of all kinds (moral, social, physical, creative, psychological, emotional), including the quiet courage of Mary Ann Radmacher saying "I will try again tomorrow."
Thank you for all the words, insights, and the introduction to Sophie Scholl!!
YES to this "In the Symbiocene, to be oneself and believe in what is good is everyone’s birthright. It should not take superhuman courage to defend and claim what is true. Sophie’s guideline ‘that one should do only what is true and good and take it for granted that other people will do the same’ must be the norm. And courage cannot lead to cruelty."
Ah, thank you so much Shelly. I was very much looking forward to your feedback on this topic!!!
Creative courage. Oh YES! Thank you for throwing this into the alchemical soup. The courage to create, to appreciate creativity at all stages, to present our creative work to the world, no matter how vulnerable that feels.
And the collective courage!! Absolutely. I remember times when in a group everyone was muttering and complaining behind a teacher's back, but nobody would say anything in class. I offered to speak the uncomfortable truth. But beforehand I asked my colleagues to back me up in the moment. Too many times before I had experienced people backing off when it comes to the crunch of a real confrontation (which feels like the worst betrayal for the person who dares to speak what many others are thinking). That time, with the affirming crowd behind me, and the trust that I could rely on their backup, the experience was like cutting through butter with a hot knife. The teacher accepted our proposal with zero resistance.
and yes the "glorified brashness or bravado -- that is only about feeding the ego..." I think it comes from fear of being found out who you really are, which is not as big and strong as you would like to appear.
"New eras require new models of leadership." What a great quote.
Absolutely. Every single one of us can and must claim their leadership in something. Nurturing ourselves and our creativity to grow into what we may be is a good place to start.
Dear Veronika, I woke up this morning still thinking about your post. I love your story of courage to speak up to your teacher with an uncomfortable truth. You’ve pointed to the key things that are required for courage: TRUST —in yourself, others and in the bigger reason at the moment (I often say “trust in life overall). TRUE SELF: your own values aligned with a “can’t not do” line in the sand. COMMUNITY: the group you trusted to have your back, who would also benefit from the change you were advocating. That you enlisted their support also made it an act of collective courage.
One other thought I had overnight speaks to the practice of PARADOX, which Parker Palmer teaches using the 3D image of the Mobius strip. It’s how we can connect our inner and outer lives (and courage) as a whole, fluid movement instead of being separated. Recognizing that our inner lives inform our outer actions and the outer events inform our inner world is seen in this shape. Take a flat strip of paper and label one side Inner, the other Outer. See the separation. Bring both ends together to see a circle that is still separated. But then twist the paper and glue it together. Run your finger around the edge and now you have only one side. I say courage is the movement and trust is the glue.
A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live. 〰 Lao Tzu 〰 What if Lao Tzu had the Mobius strip and continued, “The human with both dares to be whole.”
Yes.Yes! YES! I love that Moebius strip image. And how you completed Lao Tzu's train of thought so elegantly.
The human with both ~ inner and outer courage ~ dares to be whole.
This is a profound statement to ponder on.
Thank you for affirming my 'collective courage moment'. I think for me it was quite a watershed moment. Before asking my classmates to back me up, I recalled situations where I spoke up in class, naively assuming that others would back me up, because they had voiced similar concerns in private. But then, in the critical moment they just kept quiet, and it looked as if I was the only one... A pretty shitty feeling.
I've never been afraid to speak my truth (I think I was born that way). I still remember the first time (at three years old). What I learned through such situations is that many (maybe most) people are scared to speak their truth. Collective courage requires trust, as you say. Perhaps it also nurtures trust...
When inner and outer trust & courage come together, creating a conceptual moebius strip, we become whole. That's so fascinating. Thank you!!!
It’s fun to share the ideas with you, Veronika. I wonder what the difference was with your classmates that time when they supported you vs. earlier times. Perhaps you had already nurtured trust as a leader. I learned from a researcher that when people act with courage, as exemplars, more courage is created “in the space between”. You don’t have to see your actions as courageous for the courage to exist anyway! You may see your actions as easy because you have access to your inner landscape, your experience and skill set. But from where we observe your actions, we see courage. I was not born fearless to speak truth…it’s been a long time coming. Maybe some past life experiences that had to be overcome this time! :)
I love this: »when people act with courage, as exemplars, more courage is created “in the space between”.«
and this: »You don’t have to see your actions as courageous for the courage to exist anyway!«
The big difference was that the time I was supported I asked for the support beforehand. I also was about twice as old at the time (in my 30s vs. a teenager in highschool), so I was able to preempt a potential "gaslighting" behaviour towards me from the group.
It is so interesting to me that you connect this 'courage-to-speak-one's-truth- skill' with having access to the inner landscape. I think you're absolutely correct. It is not enough to have the experience. We must also have the awareness and the ability to evaluate, process and understand that experience before it can become this valuable resource.
You and I had/have the courage to embrace this journey. It's not easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Life becomes so much more fun when we are able to live our truth, don't you think?
So we might add "maturity" or "experience" to the ingredients for courage. That pesky self-awareness, too!! LOL. Yes indeed to this "Life becomes so much more fun when we are able to live our truth, don't you think?"
Hi Veronika, I will echo what has already been said, and that is, you've really hit it out of the park with this one because we do often think of outer courage rather than inner courage, which is quiet, but no less grand or important. The courage to grief will stay with me for a long time, maybe forever. There's something so powerful in those words.
I used to find it odd that in movies the actor wouldn't cry right away at a death bed or accident. That they would remain tightlipped through the funeral scenes, etc, etc, until I thought about my own delayed reaction at my father's death, or when our friend Steve died in the apartment below us and how "long" it took for my husband to cry.
And thank you for introducing us to Death & Birds, and that Lao Tzu quote. xo
We as a society do not take kindly to people showing grief. We find it troubling, even mawkish. Well, you can grieve, but not for too long. The chief reason, I found out after the death of my father in 1980, was that prolonged grief interferes with productivity, with commerce and with busyness.
A few days of leave and we are expected to return to school, work, life. Back to normal, as if nothing extraordinary happened. But grief is a normal part of life. If we ignore or side-step this mourning ritural, it will return. And in ways that debilitate us. Our bodies will tell us to stop and grieve.
It takes courage to listen to your heart and to grieve.
Back to 'normal', right?! When the grieving is the new normal...
Absolutely. Grief is a part of life that is cut short, covered up, evicted, expelled, not allowed to exist. If we don't live it, it will debilitate us, as you say. It may even kill us.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experience on this.
You are so accurate in all your words.
Our society fails to speak of death and dying as if that will keep it from arriving. When the time comes too many are unprepared. Following my mother’s example I spoke to my children of death early in their life. I took them to funerals and allowed them to see grief expressed which offered opportunities to help them understand it’s purpose and to be less afraid. We always used any appropriate time to discuss and each of them eventually came to terms with their own inevitable end.
As a RN working in many areas of nursing including hospice I saw the difference in how people handled their own death based on how much they had grown in understanding and acceptance. Many or most were terrified and it drew out their suffering for weeks, months or years. They were not capable of living or dying, only suffering the wait. It seems dying is a voluntary process and for fearful souls they simply couldn’t let go. This also drew out the suffering for all who loved them. They visited a body who neither spoke or looked at them. This was painful to watch. Eventually everyone let’s go and I can only imagine the horror their journey from body to wherever we go after.
Thank you so much, Sammie, for this confirmation. You, following in your mother's footsteps, are a wise woman.
I have seen people dying. I've held some hands as their owners left this earthly body behind. But that was a long time ago, during my gap year, working in Jerusalem on a terminal cancer ward.
I've also had the honour to witness my mother in law during her final weeks ~ as afraid of dying as she had been of living. It became clear to me that fear of death and fear of living go together. What I didn't know is that it can also affect the duration of this process. So sad. What a missed opportunity.
Thank you for the words that you share with us. My wife, also an RN, worked early in her career in nursing homes and other such places where the elderly were placed. She confirms what you said about how some are better prepared for death and the subsequent process of grieving.
Outer courage is synonymous with bravery, boldness, fearlessness and the antipode to cowardice.
Inner courage is no emotion either. Inner courage is a quality of being and becoming.”
Spiritualty. Being aware of Being. A Heart to Soul journey. The journey from imitation to creation. To Be. Into the now of here. Present. A soul having a human experience. Inside to outside to Inside. A widening circle. Rippling. Cuore-Age. The only way. Home.
“Courage doesn’t require grand gestures. Our own heart may simply nudge us to take small steps towards our own truth, following the still small voice of the soul.”
Follow that voice. It comes as a feeling. It sings as a knowing. It screams as a growing. Love always. Love all ways. A cuore-odyssey.
Another beautiful stirring piece Veronika. This tapestry of the Symbiocene is unfolding all around me.
Bless you. 🙏❤️
Thank you so much, Jamie 🙏 ♥️
The link you are making between courage and curiosity (sort of) is an intriguing one I hadn't thought of. Especially since the word 'cure' is related to 'care'. And 'care' originally meant 'sorrow, anxiety, grief'... and then Lao Tzu's quote "from caring comes courage"...
You are closing the epic circle.
I also love this image 'the tapestry of the Symbiocene' as I am stitching the words into the canvas, one wordcast at a time...
Veronika, I really enjoyed this post. I wish I had come across it when I was a teenager, but now is also a great time—it's always a good time to learn something new. Thank you for the book recommendation. I will definitely look into Cynthia Li's work. In one of my explorations into understanding the psychoanalytical aspects behind disease, particularly while writing about skin conditions, I found that autoimmune diseases can often be a response to some sort of inner conflict—where the self is fighting against itself. It's our psyche's way of signaling the conflict we need to 'address' and 'process'. I’m starting to feel less confident in using technical psychological terms. It somehow feels like I’m stripping away the emotions behind them. I’m searching for a language that’s more in tune with the real nature of these experiences, and you’ve been very helpful.
The surfacing of grief is so important for physical healing. All is connected.
Linking "Courage was defined as strength of the soul" with the body, and recognizing, remembering, and acknowledging what was simply passed over as a fact—but not truly processed—requires courage, an open heart, and all the meanings of courage. I love how you've structured all the content and the heartwarming way you write about words and their meanings. I find it very inspiring and valuable, plus all the beautiful things Jamie said :)). Thank you!
Thank you, Katerina, as always I am delighted by your feedback and commentary!
As you (perhaps) know, I have been working my way through these topics since 1997 ~ that's about the past 27 years. I have arrived at a place where I feel no longer burdened or hindered by psychological terms or scientific language. I use these jargons like any other source and follow my own explorations.
In order to do that it is important to have your own key question(s), to know as precisely as possible which lens(es) you are using when examining a topic.
My lenses are 'subjective experience' and 'thinking like the Symbiocene' or a 'symbiocentric mindset'. I look at every topic I choose to write about through these two lenses (either one or the other or both) and find words that fit best into this context. This is tremendously freeing. I no longer feel beholden to a particular 'scientific jargon' ~ especially if the mindset behind that language is not what I want to convey or confirm.
Yes, scientific terminology (psychology has been striving for decades to be recognised as a science so we can include this here) has to strip away the emotions because emotions are subjective. And science is objective.
My writing is explicitly subjective. This doesn't mean I am presenting some personal 'emotional vomit' (there may be different places for that genre but it's not mine).
I have learned over the years, that if you go deep with your own emotional experience and truly process it, while honouring and really listening to the Instinct as a valid Faculty of the mind, you always arrive at a truth which is surprisingly universal. I think that is what you are picking up when reading my wordcasts (or Synchronosophy chapters).
Yes, Veronika, I’m definitely picking up on it! Thank you for taking the time to share your insights. It’s been a synchronistic journey for me as well— I read my first psychology book in 1997, when I was 14, and began to question many things.
I admire your approach of highlighting subjective experience and following your own path. It’s inspiring how you’ve 'broken free' from the confines of scientific terminology to explore deeper truths. While formal language has served me well for many years, I agree it shouldn’t be a limitation, just as you said. I also believe personal reflection can lead to universal understanding. Thank you for these exchanges; they’ve been truly helpful.
When the body can’t remove all the toxins thrown at us through normal means, it comes through the skin. I have dealt with skin issues for years and feel grateful my body is brilliant enough to rid them in any possible manner. There are methods of reducing skin issues.
Yes, exactly! Our body's capacity has its limits, but it also signals something deeper. I’d like to add that our skin is not just a barrier but a connection between our inner and outer worlds. It’s the first receptor of information, storing memories from our earliest experiences of (un)love and (neglect)care. Many skin issues in adulthood are linked to these early moments. Processing grief is essential not just for the soul, but also for healing the physical wounds that surface in the body.
Our fascia stores our memories or it stores our entire lifetime to some extent. When I was deathly sick after neck radiation and I’m terrible pain, I discovered fascia release. I went to a physical therapist and as she spoke to me and gently massaged my arms, shoulders and back I began to sob. It startled me actually as it’s not my nature to sob. She explained it was common if not an always to release everything stored in our emotional plane once the fascia is stimulated. The fascia is actually the largest organ in my opinion as it covers everything and is formed in utero as the container we grow in. Once I released the emotions I no longer had pain.
Absolutely fascinating, Sammie! Thank you so much. 💙 🙏 ♥️
I had a personal encounter with fascia too ~ not as powerful as yours but equally moving in the moment. It made me aware of the importance of the fascia as the largest (and not very well known) organ. I wrote about my experience in my wordcast Fascinating Fascia https://veronikabondsymbiopaedia.substack.com/p/fascinating-fascia and would be curious to have your expert feedback on this topic.
I love all the connections and words connected to fascia and all the different meanings. I have a love of words but you have a beautiful gift with words.
Trigger points are not well known in our society or even Medicine. My husband is a physical therapist and I was a RN for 25 years and we didn’t understand the prevalence of fascia injuries. You can’t get an image of the fascia so what is seen when you have an injury is most often called a muscle or tendon tear or bruise when in fact it’s often fascia. If it could be seen using medical equipment I’m sure we would have many more diagnosis of fascia involvement. Most massage therapist are very aware of how to treat fascia injuries. I’ve also found many acupuncturists are familiar with how to treat such injuries with fascia injuries.
I had lost the ability to lift my left arm after cancer and radiation treatment. I couldn’t move it from the dropped hand position. I received no help from allopathy or homeopathy as they were stumped by why my hand dropped. It was years before I could put it all together (my speech and neurological system was not in good condition) but I realized it was because everything is connected, to fascia. If you hurt your shoulder it’s likely related to fascia and you may also experience pain in your foot or hip because the fascia is dry or tight and it is wrapped around almost everything. I think of fascia as the spirit in our body manifest into something physical. This is just my own way of understanding fascia. Because as you pointed out in your article it can be thoughts or emotions that get your fascia twisted, tightened or in some way altered. I believe we are born enclosed in the material we call fascia. When a baby is born we all know it’s wrapped in multi-layered materials. Some of it wipes off and some seems pulled off but some of it is part of the skin, or so it appears. I worked in labor and delivery and was always fascinated by how protected our babies are when they appear. I feel the fascia is sort of mixed in with skin and in a few days it’s under the skin. So in my opinion it’s a hidden part of us connecting every aspect of our physical body. It stores our lives sort of like what is called the Akash (spelling ) it’s our record of this life.
It was a beautiful synchronicity that you discovered the trigger points and realized what you did. I see many people suffer with pain for their entire lives because of misdiagnosis. A lot of back surgeries could and should be avoided by treating the fascia. I’ve never seen a positive outcome from back surgery. I’ve seen almost miracles, and experienced them, from proper treatment of our fascia.
This isn’t a scientific based response which I don’t think you were looking for. This is how I, using experience, critical thinking and intuition understand fascia.
Thank you for the invitation to share this as my purpose is to share all the healing information I have learned with as many people as possible.
Let me add the amazing benefits of DMSO. It’s the best way to treat most issues with not only fascia but most of the body. See A midwestern Doctor on sub-stack for great information on the many benefits of DMSO. Also, Amanda Volmer and many others write about the benefits of DMSO. I don’t leave home without some in my car.
oh wow! Thank you so much for your elaborate explanations.
"I think of fascia as the spirit in our body manifest into something physical."
I love that. It makes a lot of sense. In fact, since I've discovered fascia, a lot of what's going on in the body makes a lot more sense.
There is. a German 'pain-specialist' on youtube who says exactly the same thing about back pain: "A lot of back surgeries could and should be avoided by treating the fascia."
This is also interesting to me: "I believe we are born enclosed in the material we call fascia."
Perhaps there is a connection between being born inside a 'bundle of fascia' and ancestral trauma?
And yes, DMSO is truly wonderful stuff.
It’s a fascinating part of these bodies we borrow. It took me a while to really grasp how intricate it is. Science hasn’t yet fully defined fascia. I have the gift of seeing inward and it looks like plastic wrap. When it gets dry or tight it still looks like plastic wrap but with a fold or wrinkle.
I would be happy to respond.
Oh, this is sooo interesting, thank you for sharing! Your fascia release led to such an emotional and physical breakthrough really shows how deeply connected everything is. How it works as a container from the very start of our lives makes perfect sense when you think about how much it can store. That moment of unexpected release must have been so powerful!
Hi Veronika, thank you for another fascinating read that resonates deeply within my being. Grief has become an aspect of my being, as has gratitude. And of courage, of course these are all matters for and of the heart as your post explores. My own experience has shown that grief (when death related) makes people uncomfortable because of the collective fear of death - particularly in the belief that there is only one life. And grief, whilst a shared experience is equally a personal and private matter for one’s soul. Navigating grief through realising the gifts has assisted my ability to observe my humanness and with gratitude accept the gift of life. Still learning … thank you. 🙏💜✍🏻
You are very welcome, Simone. Thank you in turn, for sharing your experiences with grief so generously!!
Whenever I write or speak about grief I can't help but think of your powerful story. It is truly inspiring to witness your commitment to grief as a teacher ~ how you follow her calling wherever she takes you. Your griefwork, no matter how personal, is a great gift to the collective fear of grief (and death, and loss).
Thank you Veronika, for your kindness ... wow ... my gratitude cup is full this morning 💚.
Very good. Thank you Veronika. I was going to just note Alasdair MacLean's 'After Virtue' account of Aristotelian virtues - courage as the cultivated virtue between recklessness and bravery, and his later contemplation of Christian virtues, drawing our attention to an example from Jane Austen's writing;1 'constancy'.
Then you hit us with Sophie Scholl. A song floated into my mind's 'goings on' (appreciate the term by the way) and a voice. 'White Rose of Athens', sold a million in Germany, I read, which was good.
Mouskeri later resigned from the EU parliament because her pacifism could not support wars.
I read lately meticulous accounts by young Jewish people in London of their drawing a line against the barbarities of total war perpetrated in the name of their heritage and am reminded of the atrocities of WW2 including not least the fate wreaked on German and Japanese cities, endiing with two atom bombs. There have been a great many wars and atrocities since. 'White Rose Live Again' in grief. 'Be of Good Cheer', Kingsnorth reminded us over the weekend.
thank you Philip for such a thoughtful comment! My high school in Germany was called Geschwister Scholl Gymnasium, which made me think of Sophie Scholl... So the White Rose and the tragedy associated with it was always very present for me.
I remember Nana Mouskouri as a singer, but didn't recall that she was a politician too. Weiße Rosen aus Athen... OMG I'd completely forgotten that one... giving me goose bumps as I'm listening to it now, in the light of this information 'her pacifism could not support war'...
Yes ... Mouskouri was old enough to know. Thanks again Veronika.
I’m reflecting on this piece and drawing its opening and closing together into a full circle where the courage to grieve perhaps reveals the soul where the depths of our despair fans the flames of courage (as young Sophie did). Thanks for another thought-provoking offering Veronika!
Thank you for this image, Kimberly. I'm now seeing an Ensō circle drawn around and through this wordcast ~ as well as around and through every life that invites a human soul to voice her inner and outer courage ∞
What a wonderful post, Veronika. I love reading all the comments and seeing so many directions we can go when talking about courage. The courage to grieve is profound...letting our hearts break open instead of being closed off to our feelings. The social courage of being vulnerable with our tears, or processing grief in a group like Weller's work, embracing the ritual of tending our hearts together. The courage to grieve AND to keep living, to really live, surely go hand in hand.
I really appreciate the expanded view of courage you've presented. I have been focused on the types of courage that Rollo May named in his 1975 book The Courage to Create, and especially resonated with creative courage. Creative courage includes art and music and dance, the courage to appreciate art, beauty and nature, AND is also about creating a life, creating community, creating innovative ideas for quality improvement, and solutions for the benefit of society and earth, creating safe and brave environments for learning, engaging and relating to each other.
I later came across the term Collective Courage that was coined by social activist Bree Newsome who is known for climbing a flagpole at the South Carolina state house and pulling down the Confederate flag in June 2015. She inspired me to see that collective courage means working together for the common good and is a form of social justice and activism whether one benefits directly or not. It’s not about a heroic leader at the forefront.
Newsome said in a statement to Blue Nation Review, “I realized that now is the time for true courage the morning after the Charleston Massacre shook me to the core of my being.” She emphasized that her courage to act in that moment was never about one woman. “This action required collective courage just as this movement requires collective courage. […] Whether the topic is trending nationally or it’s an issue affecting our local communities, those of us who are conscious must do what is right in this moment. And we must do it without fear. New eras require new models of leadership.”
Instead, we see so much false outer courage in "leaders" today -- glorified brashness or bravado -- that is only about feeding the ego or comes from fear of looking less than you are.
I feel like our society, globally, is in desperate need of collective courage, AND courage of all kinds (moral, social, physical, creative, psychological, emotional), including the quiet courage of Mary Ann Radmacher saying "I will try again tomorrow."
Thank you for all the words, insights, and the introduction to Sophie Scholl!!
YES to this "In the Symbiocene, to be oneself and believe in what is good is everyone’s birthright. It should not take superhuman courage to defend and claim what is true. Sophie’s guideline ‘that one should do only what is true and good and take it for granted that other people will do the same’ must be the norm. And courage cannot lead to cruelty."
Ah, thank you so much Shelly. I was very much looking forward to your feedback on this topic!!!
Creative courage. Oh YES! Thank you for throwing this into the alchemical soup. The courage to create, to appreciate creativity at all stages, to present our creative work to the world, no matter how vulnerable that feels.
And the collective courage!! Absolutely. I remember times when in a group everyone was muttering and complaining behind a teacher's back, but nobody would say anything in class. I offered to speak the uncomfortable truth. But beforehand I asked my colleagues to back me up in the moment. Too many times before I had experienced people backing off when it comes to the crunch of a real confrontation (which feels like the worst betrayal for the person who dares to speak what many others are thinking). That time, with the affirming crowd behind me, and the trust that I could rely on their backup, the experience was like cutting through butter with a hot knife. The teacher accepted our proposal with zero resistance.
and yes the "glorified brashness or bravado -- that is only about feeding the ego..." I think it comes from fear of being found out who you really are, which is not as big and strong as you would like to appear.
"New eras require new models of leadership." What a great quote.
Absolutely. Every single one of us can and must claim their leadership in something. Nurturing ourselves and our creativity to grow into what we may be is a good place to start.
Dear Veronika, I woke up this morning still thinking about your post. I love your story of courage to speak up to your teacher with an uncomfortable truth. You’ve pointed to the key things that are required for courage: TRUST —in yourself, others and in the bigger reason at the moment (I often say “trust in life overall). TRUE SELF: your own values aligned with a “can’t not do” line in the sand. COMMUNITY: the group you trusted to have your back, who would also benefit from the change you were advocating. That you enlisted their support also made it an act of collective courage.
One other thought I had overnight speaks to the practice of PARADOX, which Parker Palmer teaches using the 3D image of the Mobius strip. It’s how we can connect our inner and outer lives (and courage) as a whole, fluid movement instead of being separated. Recognizing that our inner lives inform our outer actions and the outer events inform our inner world is seen in this shape. Take a flat strip of paper and label one side Inner, the other Outer. See the separation. Bring both ends together to see a circle that is still separated. But then twist the paper and glue it together. Run your finger around the edge and now you have only one side. I say courage is the movement and trust is the glue.
A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live. 〰 Lao Tzu 〰 What if Lao Tzu had the Mobius strip and continued, “The human with both dares to be whole.”
Yes.Yes! YES! I love that Moebius strip image. And how you completed Lao Tzu's train of thought so elegantly.
The human with both ~ inner and outer courage ~ dares to be whole.
This is a profound statement to ponder on.
Thank you for affirming my 'collective courage moment'. I think for me it was quite a watershed moment. Before asking my classmates to back me up, I recalled situations where I spoke up in class, naively assuming that others would back me up, because they had voiced similar concerns in private. But then, in the critical moment they just kept quiet, and it looked as if I was the only one... A pretty shitty feeling.
I've never been afraid to speak my truth (I think I was born that way). I still remember the first time (at three years old). What I learned through such situations is that many (maybe most) people are scared to speak their truth. Collective courage requires trust, as you say. Perhaps it also nurtures trust...
When inner and outer trust & courage come together, creating a conceptual moebius strip, we become whole. That's so fascinating. Thank you!!!
It’s fun to share the ideas with you, Veronika. I wonder what the difference was with your classmates that time when they supported you vs. earlier times. Perhaps you had already nurtured trust as a leader. I learned from a researcher that when people act with courage, as exemplars, more courage is created “in the space between”. You don’t have to see your actions as courageous for the courage to exist anyway! You may see your actions as easy because you have access to your inner landscape, your experience and skill set. But from where we observe your actions, we see courage. I was not born fearless to speak truth…it’s been a long time coming. Maybe some past life experiences that had to be overcome this time! :)
Likewise! 💖
I love this: »when people act with courage, as exemplars, more courage is created “in the space between”.«
and this: »You don’t have to see your actions as courageous for the courage to exist anyway!«
The big difference was that the time I was supported I asked for the support beforehand. I also was about twice as old at the time (in my 30s vs. a teenager in highschool), so I was able to preempt a potential "gaslighting" behaviour towards me from the group.
It is so interesting to me that you connect this 'courage-to-speak-one's-truth- skill' with having access to the inner landscape. I think you're absolutely correct. It is not enough to have the experience. We must also have the awareness and the ability to evaluate, process and understand that experience before it can become this valuable resource.
You and I had/have the courage to embrace this journey. It's not easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Life becomes so much more fun when we are able to live our truth, don't you think?
So we might add "maturity" or "experience" to the ingredients for courage. That pesky self-awareness, too!! LOL. Yes indeed to this "Life becomes so much more fun when we are able to live our truth, don't you think?"
Veronica, unser Ermuttigerin, vielen dank...
Hi Veronika, I will echo what has already been said, and that is, you've really hit it out of the park with this one because we do often think of outer courage rather than inner courage, which is quiet, but no less grand or important. The courage to grief will stay with me for a long time, maybe forever. There's something so powerful in those words.
I used to find it odd that in movies the actor wouldn't cry right away at a death bed or accident. That they would remain tightlipped through the funeral scenes, etc, etc, until I thought about my own delayed reaction at my father's death, or when our friend Steve died in the apartment below us and how "long" it took for my husband to cry.
And thank you for introducing us to Death & Birds, and that Lao Tzu quote. xo