Beautifully expressed and I love all the words you offer to use instead.
I’ve had 74 years and been through the many cycles from infant to toddler and so on. If we have a clear mind and needs met we continue to move on to the next phase. I was in a different cycle at 59 and then again at 65 ( we have 7 year cycles too) but at 74 it’s a much deeper phase. I feel the collective anger building and even the suppression. We are not too far from a collective release which I hope will be expressed effectively as we take back our world. I don’t see the majority becoming violent, although that will surely be present. I feel it being observed in the collective consciousness and together we are unconsciously making our plan to use it wisely. It can surely be profoundly beneficial done well.
Thank you for your beautiful message and as usual you have your finger on the pulse of humanity, what a wonderful gift. ❤️
Thank you Sammie! This sounds so interesting what you are saying about collective anger, ~ suppression, and ~ release. Your overview of age cycles and collective cycles is also very encouraging to me, since I believe that as individuals we (may) have a role to play in the movement and evolvement of the collective, according to our gifts. If we can release and use the anger within ourselves ~ in a constructive way ~ perhaps we can make a contribution to a beneficial transition.
Your insights are deeply soothing and reassuring. 🙏 ♥️
Thank you Veronika. Still digesting this one. Yes, anger. Something I grew up with feeling I wasn’t allowed to have. Told to control it. Hide it. It’s a necessary angel that arrives and I have learned to watch it. To talk to it. To ask for its message underneath its presentation. Mine comes to visit in my face. My jaw. The clench. Spreads down my neck and into the closed fists of my hands. A standing tall. A readiness. It doesn’t arrive in my chest or stomach. I can feel it in my feet. My legs ready to move. It comes fast. It just wants to be heard. Seen. To be responded to with empathy. To be understood. I have slowly learned to have that conversation. It’s welcomed now. I dine with it. Often the words it brings makes for some of the finest writing.
Thanks so much for bringing the words ends for opening up the spaces. Anger is a necessary angel.
What a wonderful and powerful description of the experience of anger!
WOW! I fully believe that having conversations with our emotions is the way forward. And we each experience this differently. Your interaction with anger is totally fascinating to me. You dine with it (him, her, them). What a lovely and loving thing to do.
And the anger brings a 'hostess gift' in the form of 'fine writing'.
Acknowledging only the destructive side of anger is a problem! Such an important reconciliation, bringing anger into relationship with the wild: “Alongside their association with the pursuit of wicked humans, they were also identified with spirits of fertility of the earth.”
This poem arrived in my inbox today by Wahtola and speaks to this necessary reunion, “naming all parts beloved.”
Such a great poem. RWT speaks exactly to the work I do with Synchronosophy (and also to the work you do on 'Unfixed', I believe.) She describes the journey of discovery towards the recognition that all 'parts' (as it's called in IFS) have an important role to play. Thank you so much for sharing!! I will pick up on this in one of the next Synchronosophy chapters. xxx
Hi Veronika, Thank you for highlighting the complexity of this valid emotion. Like all emotions, it is what we do with them — reactions and responses. Your point about anger management resonates; having worked with adolescents in school settings, i have observed how we are conditioned and taught to suppress anything we deem negative whilst extremes of other emotions, which too can be detrimental to one's wellbeing are lauded. I also love the point about anger in deficit. That reminds me of the appalling lies our mainstream media perpetuate on a daily basis — where is our rage to stop this? We end up retreating from this energy as a protection. Anyway, thank you again for the exploration of words and language, much appreciated. Simone 💜🙏
Absolutely. First the suppression of healthy anger, and perfectly natural negative emotions, then the suppression of the outrage (civil disobedience) and framing any resistance to the daily lies as 'dangerous'.
I believe that's where 'good anger' has an important role to play, ideally transformed into the fuel which enables us to evolve and find creative solutions.
I am so glad that you have broached the topic of anger, which is an emotion like all others that humans have. Not all anger leads to violence. Anger is tied to justice or, rather, injustice. We become angry when we feel or sense an injustice has been done. To ourselves, to others, to our Home Earth.
I would also say that anger and love are linked, in that we often become angry when someone we love is harmed. That someone could be another human, a non-human animal or our Earth.
So, yes to good anger. It invigorates us and animates us to action.
"Anger is tied to justice or, rather, injustice." good point, Perry, which reminds me of ZZ Packer (and others) linking outrage to civil disobedience ~ which of course all relates to the link between anger and boundaries (in psychology).
Anger and love. Yes, isn't that interesting? So it's not surprising that the symbolism of the colour red includes both love and anger (both can be passionate emotions). And when someone we love and care about is harmed, the violation is overstepping our personal boundaries.
Having grown up in a 'no-anger-culture' (perhaps you did too?), it has taken me along time to learn anger (in the good way).
I love the colour red; I wear it when the mood strikes. Many of us grew up in households where anger was repressed, along with truth and honesty. They go together, do they not? So, I found my way to integrate more of these emotions into my being.
True. In my family history it all fits nicely with the protestant work ethics.
But I'm not complaining. Reading stories by people who have experienced violent anger from an early age, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to survive such fiery stuff...
Well done! I believe, integration of our emotions is some of the most important work humans can do in this lifetime.
There's so much to say about this rich and complex topic. In most Asian cultures, anger is not to be expressed. It's something that most certainly is behind closed doors, but often is swept under the proverbial rug in an effort to 'save face'. Many people I know grew up with at least one angry parent, so we never really learn how to understand and deal with these emotions unless we recognize a problem. But it's also true that it can be a great motivator!
Oh, not only in Asian cultures! Thank you for bringing this into the conversation, Lani. I grew up in a Western Protestant bubble transplanted into Middle Eastern culture surrounded by a hotbed of religions... I don't know what it's like to grow up with an angry parent, neither of my parents ever showed any anger, but I'm sure it was somewhere under that oriental rug as well. Anger wasn't expressed anywhere in my childhood home, and I never learned what to do with it.
Coming to think of it now, it made me feel helpless. The denial of anger didn't allow me to defend my boundaries, and that became a long and arduous struggle. I believe we need to learn to feel our anger before it can become fuel. To me, repressed anger felt very similar to fear.
Hmmm. Yes, repressed anger and fear do go hand in hand - what an astute observation. Expressing anger is natural and in personal relationships it can come out and that’s when we have an opportunity to grow and learn through it. Not easy though!
No, not easy. In the past I would swallow my anger and it would all go to an inner scoring board, cutting another notch into the core. Eventually, the board would break apart, and I'd walk away.
Nowadays I've learned to process my anger. Then, if necessary, I express clearly in words where my boundaries have been overstepped (no door slamming, plate throwing, or loud voices involved, and it happens very rarely). In the worst case this leads to the other person upset and the relationship ending, which means it wasn't meant to be and would have only gotten worse if I kept quiet.
In the best case scenario, this leads to the other person apologising and thanking me! It always clears the air and improves the relationship.
I will be looking at flames in a whole new way this winter, thinking about how 'wood' (Wod) is the fuel that can create fierce, furious, outrageous anger transformed into a roaring, steady fire of creativity and resistance. (And pondering what is that wood / tree ?)
I especially love this: "Furore represents the fertile, creative spirit of the Furies. It captures the pure and potentially constructive energy of anger without the negative associations with violence, as captured in the quote by peace builder and author Dr. Scilla Elworthy, “If we can put our anger inside an engine, it can drive us forward.”
Beautifully expressed and I love all the words you offer to use instead.
I’ve had 74 years and been through the many cycles from infant to toddler and so on. If we have a clear mind and needs met we continue to move on to the next phase. I was in a different cycle at 59 and then again at 65 ( we have 7 year cycles too) but at 74 it’s a much deeper phase. I feel the collective anger building and even the suppression. We are not too far from a collective release which I hope will be expressed effectively as we take back our world. I don’t see the majority becoming violent, although that will surely be present. I feel it being observed in the collective consciousness and together we are unconsciously making our plan to use it wisely. It can surely be profoundly beneficial done well.
Thank you for your beautiful message and as usual you have your finger on the pulse of humanity, what a wonderful gift. ❤️
Thank you Sammie! This sounds so interesting what you are saying about collective anger, ~ suppression, and ~ release. Your overview of age cycles and collective cycles is also very encouraging to me, since I believe that as individuals we (may) have a role to play in the movement and evolvement of the collective, according to our gifts. If we can release and use the anger within ourselves ~ in a constructive way ~ perhaps we can make a contribution to a beneficial transition.
Your insights are deeply soothing and reassuring. 🙏 ♥️
Thank you Veronika. Still digesting this one. Yes, anger. Something I grew up with feeling I wasn’t allowed to have. Told to control it. Hide it. It’s a necessary angel that arrives and I have learned to watch it. To talk to it. To ask for its message underneath its presentation. Mine comes to visit in my face. My jaw. The clench. Spreads down my neck and into the closed fists of my hands. A standing tall. A readiness. It doesn’t arrive in my chest or stomach. I can feel it in my feet. My legs ready to move. It comes fast. It just wants to be heard. Seen. To be responded to with empathy. To be understood. I have slowly learned to have that conversation. It’s welcomed now. I dine with it. Often the words it brings makes for some of the finest writing.
Thanks so much for bringing the words ends for opening up the spaces. Anger is a necessary angel.
Bless you 🙏❤️
What a wonderful and powerful description of the experience of anger!
WOW! I fully believe that having conversations with our emotions is the way forward. And we each experience this differently. Your interaction with anger is totally fascinating to me. You dine with it (him, her, them). What a lovely and loving thing to do.
And the anger brings a 'hostess gift' in the form of 'fine writing'.
Simply delightful, Jamie
The impulse to MOVE
A challenging emotion to stay with, rather than going out of body.
Acknowledging only the destructive side of anger is a problem! Such an important reconciliation, bringing anger into relationship with the wild: “Alongside their association with the pursuit of wicked humans, they were also identified with spirits of fertility of the earth.”
This poem arrived in my inbox today by Wahtola and speaks to this necessary reunion, “naming all parts beloved.”
Letter to the Parts of Me I Have Tried to Exile
I’m sorry. I thought banishing you
was the way to become better,
more perfect, more good, more free.
The irony: I thought if I cut you off
and cast you out, if I built the walls
high enough, then the parts left would be
more whole. As if the sweet orange
doesn’t need the toughened rind,
the bitter seed. As if the forest
doesn’t need the blue fury of fire.
It didn’t work, did it, the exile?
You were always here, jangling
the hinges, banging at the door,
whispering through the cracks.
Left to myself, I wouldn’t have known
to take down the walls,
nor would I have had the strength to do so.
That act was grace disguised as disaster.
But now that the walls are rubble,
it is also grace that teaches me to want
to embrace you, grace that guides me
to be gentle, even with the part of me
that would still try to exile any other part.
It is grace that invites me
to name all parts beloved.
How honest it all is. How human.
I promise to keep learning how
to know you as my own, to practice
opening to what at first feels unwanted,
meet it with understanding,
trust all belongs, welcome you home.
Such a great poem. RWT speaks exactly to the work I do with Synchronosophy (and also to the work you do on 'Unfixed', I believe.) She describes the journey of discovery towards the recognition that all 'parts' (as it's called in IFS) have an important role to play. Thank you so much for sharing!! I will pick up on this in one of the next Synchronosophy chapters. xxx
Hi Veronika, Thank you for highlighting the complexity of this valid emotion. Like all emotions, it is what we do with them — reactions and responses. Your point about anger management resonates; having worked with adolescents in school settings, i have observed how we are conditioned and taught to suppress anything we deem negative whilst extremes of other emotions, which too can be detrimental to one's wellbeing are lauded. I also love the point about anger in deficit. That reminds me of the appalling lies our mainstream media perpetuate on a daily basis — where is our rage to stop this? We end up retreating from this energy as a protection. Anyway, thank you again for the exploration of words and language, much appreciated. Simone 💜🙏
Absolutely. First the suppression of healthy anger, and perfectly natural negative emotions, then the suppression of the outrage (civil disobedience) and framing any resistance to the daily lies as 'dangerous'.
I believe that's where 'good anger' has an important role to play, ideally transformed into the fuel which enables us to evolve and find creative solutions.
Totally 🙏 ... emotions are the creative source of all our chosen realities 💜
I am so glad that you have broached the topic of anger, which is an emotion like all others that humans have. Not all anger leads to violence. Anger is tied to justice or, rather, injustice. We become angry when we feel or sense an injustice has been done. To ourselves, to others, to our Home Earth.
I would also say that anger and love are linked, in that we often become angry when someone we love is harmed. That someone could be another human, a non-human animal or our Earth.
So, yes to good anger. It invigorates us and animates us to action.
"Anger is tied to justice or, rather, injustice." good point, Perry, which reminds me of ZZ Packer (and others) linking outrage to civil disobedience ~ which of course all relates to the link between anger and boundaries (in psychology).
Anger and love. Yes, isn't that interesting? So it's not surprising that the symbolism of the colour red includes both love and anger (both can be passionate emotions). And when someone we love and care about is harmed, the violation is overstepping our personal boundaries.
Having grown up in a 'no-anger-culture' (perhaps you did too?), it has taken me along time to learn anger (in the good way).
I love the colour red; I wear it when the mood strikes. Many of us grew up in households where anger was repressed, along with truth and honesty. They go together, do they not? So, I found my way to integrate more of these emotions into my being.
True. In my family history it all fits nicely with the protestant work ethics.
But I'm not complaining. Reading stories by people who have experienced violent anger from an early age, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to survive such fiery stuff...
Well done! I believe, integration of our emotions is some of the most important work humans can do in this lifetime.
There's so much to say about this rich and complex topic. In most Asian cultures, anger is not to be expressed. It's something that most certainly is behind closed doors, but often is swept under the proverbial rug in an effort to 'save face'. Many people I know grew up with at least one angry parent, so we never really learn how to understand and deal with these emotions unless we recognize a problem. But it's also true that it can be a great motivator!
Oh, not only in Asian cultures! Thank you for bringing this into the conversation, Lani. I grew up in a Western Protestant bubble transplanted into Middle Eastern culture surrounded by a hotbed of religions... I don't know what it's like to grow up with an angry parent, neither of my parents ever showed any anger, but I'm sure it was somewhere under that oriental rug as well. Anger wasn't expressed anywhere in my childhood home, and I never learned what to do with it.
Coming to think of it now, it made me feel helpless. The denial of anger didn't allow me to defend my boundaries, and that became a long and arduous struggle. I believe we need to learn to feel our anger before it can become fuel. To me, repressed anger felt very similar to fear.
Hmmm. Yes, repressed anger and fear do go hand in hand - what an astute observation. Expressing anger is natural and in personal relationships it can come out and that’s when we have an opportunity to grow and learn through it. Not easy though!
No, not easy. In the past I would swallow my anger and it would all go to an inner scoring board, cutting another notch into the core. Eventually, the board would break apart, and I'd walk away.
Nowadays I've learned to process my anger. Then, if necessary, I express clearly in words where my boundaries have been overstepped (no door slamming, plate throwing, or loud voices involved, and it happens very rarely). In the worst case this leads to the other person upset and the relationship ending, which means it wasn't meant to be and would have only gotten worse if I kept quiet.
In the best case scenario, this leads to the other person apologising and thanking me! It always clears the air and improves the relationship.
I will be looking at flames in a whole new way this winter, thinking about how 'wood' (Wod) is the fuel that can create fierce, furious, outrageous anger transformed into a roaring, steady fire of creativity and resistance. (And pondering what is that wood / tree ?)
I especially love this: "Furore represents the fertile, creative spirit of the Furies. It captures the pure and potentially constructive energy of anger without the negative associations with violence, as captured in the quote by peace builder and author Dr. Scilla Elworthy, “If we can put our anger inside an engine, it can drive us forward.”
I totally understand. I was also most fascinated by the discovery of this etymological link between 'wood' and 'Wut' (= anger).
Wood, of course is grown by trees, and the word 'tree' is also related to 'truth' and 'druid' (as mentioned in The Art of Magic https://veronikabondsymbiopaedia.substack.com/p/the-art-of-magic) But it would be worth another exploration, some other time...
Enjoy your winter fires xx 🔥🙏 💕
Yes!! Your post on the art of magic is one of my favorites!