The Self and its Alter-Ego (1/3)

words for self-care

Friendship with one’s self is all important,

because without it one cannot be friends

with anyone else in the world.

〰 Eleanor Roosevelt 〰

Katherine Hanlon on Unsplash

From No-Self to Self-actualisation

Contrary to what most people believe,

Nobody has ever been or had a self.

〰 Thomas Metzinger 〰

In the introduction to his book The Ego Tunnel, Thomas Metzinger, a contemporary German philosopher, declares that there is no such thing as a ‘self’. Buddhists and Taoists would agree.

Although some Buddhist texts distinguish between a ‘Higher’ and a ‘Lower Self’, the teachings of the Buddha don’t recognise selfhood as such. “Things are not what they seem” said the great master himself. “Deeds exist, but no doer can be found.”

The Buddha couldn’t see an individual ‘self’ because the mere concept, he believed, is ‘pure illusion’.

Taoism has a slightly different perspective. While the Taoist can ‘see’ the concept of a self, it is considered to be “one of the countless manifestations of the tao,” or an “extension of the cosmos.”

The ancient (and contemporary) interpretations of ‘self’ resonate perfectly with what we find in the etymological history (= the linguistic roots) of the word. The exact time of when ‘self’ was born into the English language is unknown. What we do know is that the Old English ‘self’ is an offspring of the Proto-Germanic ‘selbaz’. The word was originally used as a pronoun or adjective in the sense of ‘same’ (– a pronoun is basically a short word which can be used instead of a noun).

Because pronouns are usually short, they’re popular add-ons to other words. That’s how ‘self’ became a suffix (– an appendage added at the end of another word). Personal pronouns, like my, your, him etc. became reflexive pronouns myself, yourself, himself etc. ~ in this example the add-on ‘-self’ literally doubles back to the same person.

From around 1200 onwards, ‘self’ grew up and became an independent word. It took another three centuries before self graduated from a suffix to a prefix (– an add-on in front of another word). This combination set a trend in motion, and more self-words appeared in the dictionaries with every century:

Self-assurance, self-love, self-regard, self-willedness (1500s)

Self-complacency, self-confidence, self-consciousness, self-deception, self-defense, self-denial, self-determination, self-discipline, self-esteem, self-discipline, self-hatred, self-indulgence, self-justification, self-perception, self-pity, self-righteousness, self-sacrifice, self-sufficiency, self-worth (1600s)

Self-control, self-criticism, self-improvement, self-respect (1700s)

Self-analysis, self-awareness, self-empowerment, self-help, self-portrait, self-realisation, self-reliance (1800s)

Self-actualisation, self-assessment, self-care, self-censorship, self-concept, self-image, self-motivation, self-service (1900s)

Mariel Reiser on Unsplash

Multiple Selves and Selfies

The self...is,

like all reality...

not knowable in its essence.

〰 Heinz Kohut 〰

In the course of the same centuries, self also got promoted from an adjective to a noun. Philosophers and novelists ~ as well as pioneers in the new discipline of psychology, contemplating the ‘phenomenon of selfhood’ ~ came up with different concepts and theories. As a result we now have a growing list of ‘selves’:

authentic self / pseudo self – Donald Winnicott (paediatrician, psychoanalyst)

concrete self – Søren Kierkegaard (theologian, philosopher, poet)

constructed self – Michel Foucault (philosopher, historian, political activist)

core self / subjective self / layered self – Daniel Stern (developmental psychiatrist and psychoanalyst)

future self – Derek Parfit (philosopher)

higher self / lower self – Buddhism (philosophy of mind)

ideal self – Søren Kierkegaard, Carl Rogers (psychologist, founder of client-oriented psychotherapy)

lost self – Søren Kierkegaard

malignant self / narcissistic self – Sam Vaknin (writer and expert on narcissistic personality disorder)

no-self – Buddhism, Taoism (philosophy), Thomas Metzinger (philosopher), Judith Butler (philosopher, queer theorist)

possible self / idealised self – Karen Horney (psycholoanalyst)

real self – Winnicott, Rogers, Horney

relational self – Jean Baker Miller (psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, social activist)

social self / spiritual self – William James (philosopher, historian, psychologist)

split self – Franz Ruppert (professor of psychology, developer of Identity oriented Psychotrauma Theory)

transpersonal self – Roberto Assagioli (psychologist, founder of psychosynthesis)

true self – Søren Kierkegaard

true self / false self – Winnicott, Richard Schwartz (psychologist, founder of Internal Family Systems)

This short(!) list of self-words reflects the perceptions of the self mainly from the perspectives of various schools of psychology and philosophy. It gives the impression as if the self has become a central feature of contemporary human life.

While some philosophies are convinced that there is no such thing as ’a self’, others believe that we can only know ourselves by looking into the mirrors of our experiences, our relationships with others, our successes and failures, our impact on the environment, and imprints the environment leaves on us. Selfhood, according to the ‘pro-self’ perception, is the ongoing stream of ‘mental selfies’ we can see when looking into these mirrors.

The new millennium has given birth of a brand new self-word ~ selfie. The popular trend of photographs, taken by oneself of oneself with a smartphone or webcam, reflects a collective drive of human Consciousness to look at itself in new ways. Billions of people are recording the experience of human life ~ from a self-perspective ~ moment by moment. They share private moments in public, via countless selfies. Whether you believe the ’no-selfers’ or not, the global obsession with self-ies is undeniable.

"The self...is, like all reality...not knowable in its essence...We can describe the various cohesive forms in which the self appears, can demonstrate the several constituents that make up the self ... and explain their genesis and functions. We can do all that but we will still not know the essence of the self as differentiated from its manifestations.” Heinz Kohut

Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

The Gendered Self

Do only men have a self, and not women?

〰 Jean Baker Miller 〰

“Although nobody quite knows what the Self might be, as adults we do have a very real sense of self,” American developmental psychiatrist Daniel Stern (1934-2012) declared in his book The Interpersonal World of the Infant.

Stern proposed that infants already have the sense of an emergent self at birth, which develops into a core self, followed by a subjective self, all before reaching the ripe age of 18 months.

His model of a ‘layered self’ was not the first research to focus on the self. In the late 1940s, psychologists Donald Snygg (1904-1967) and Arthur Combs (1912-1999) introduced a new frame of reference for the study of persons and called it perceptual-experiential psychology. Combs and Snygg described the self in terms of a ‘phenomenal field’, which is our subjective reality. They further emphasised that the core subject matter for psychology is the self.

Based on the phenomenal field theory of Snygg and Combs, the influential humanist psychologist Carl Rogers (1902-1987) developed his ‘client-centred approach’ to psychotherapy. Rogers believed that self-actualisation is the highest goal of human life. He defined ‘self’ as a ‘perceptual field’ which becomes gradually more differentiated.

Rogers described his ‘self-concept’ as a ‘fluid and changing process, which is a specific entity at any given moment.’ This self-concept has three parts, Perceived Self (how person sees self & and others see them), Real Self (how person really is), and Ideal Self (how person would like to be). For the development of the self-concept ~ according to Rogers ~ unconditional positive regard and total honesty with oneself are crucial.

In the 1970s and 80s several women started to express their thoughts about the self, and what it might mean, for them. “While various writers use different definitions, the essential idea of ‘a self’ seems to underlie the historical development of many Western notions about such vast issues as the ‘good life,’ justice, or freedom.” Jean Baker Miller M.D. writes in The Development of Women’s Sense of Self (1984).

Miller notes that this notion of ‘a self’, which women have inherited, does not appear to fit our experience, leading to the puzzling question, “do only men have a self, and not women?”

The ‘male self’, Miller observes, has been defined as the process of ‘becoming one’s own man’, described as ‘individuation’ by C.G. Jung or ‘self-actualisation’ by Carl Rogers.

However, “few men ever attain such self-sufficiency, as every woman knows.” Jean Miller continues. “They are usually supported by numbers of wives, mistresses, mothers, daughters, secretaries, nurses, and others.”

The sense of ‘self’ in the human infant is born, according to Jean Miller, as a ‘being-in-relationship’ with their caregiver. The gender beliefs of the adult inevitably influence the sense of ‘self’ of the baby and leads to various ‘distortions’. “Thus, girls are not seeking the kind of identity that has been prescribed for boys, but a different kind in which one is a being-in-relation.”

Seeing that the outdated models are no longer serving us, Miller concludes that “Much richer models are possible. Glimpses of them have always been struggling to emerge, through the artists and the poets, and in some of the hopes and dreams of all of us.”

Katy Hardman on Unsplash

Other Selves

Man’s best support is a very dear friend.

〰 Marcus Tullius Cicero 〰

Around 44 BCE in Rome, the orator and statesman Cicero wrote a philosophical piece on friendship with the title Laelius de Amicitia. In this essay he refers to a true and trusted friend as another self, later translated as alter ego.

Cicero’s advice on friendship was written in the setting of a corrupt society, built on favours and paybacks, where trusting anyone too easily would have been naïve, especially if you were an influential, wealthy person ~ not a lot different from today.

So how do you recognise a true friend among the crowd of friendly wannabes with ulterior motives?

“Friendship cannot exist except among good men,” De Amicitia offers as a guideline. In a true friendship, both sides care about each other as much as about themselves. Therefore, according to Cicero, “verus amicus est tamquam alter idem.” (= the real friend is, as it were, another self.)

You may notice that the word ‘ego’ (the Latin word for I) is not used here, either in the original, or in the translation. Notwithstanding its absence, many sources insist that “the expression alter ego was coined by Cicero.”

“But Zeno was the first who said it!” other sources claim ~ equally controversial due to lack of evidence.

Seneca used alter ego, but he wasn’t the first. Maybe it was Aristotle?

The question who said what first is in this case less important than the concept of alter ego, which was well understood and explained by Marcus Tullius Cicero. The ‘other self’ played a vital role in the Roman Republic. It enabled the top dogs increase their power beyond their own limited physical presence.

The idea of another self was an effective tool in the kit of aristocratic power. It allowed Cicero and his followers to build strong alliances within an authoritarian, patriarchal system and exert pressure on others to achieve their goals.

In the 18th century, Anton Mesmer discovered that, under hypnosis, a person could reveal a different personality from the one displayed in the ordinary waking state. The Latin name alter ego (= another I) became the term for the phenomenon of having another self.

From the 19th century onwards, the concept spread through all genres of literature and beyond.

One of the best known and most popular alter egos made its first appearance in 1938 ~ produced by the creative duo Jerry Siegel (writer) and Joe Shuster (artist). His name is Superman, alias of the newspaper reporter Clark Kent, who has the secret power to turn himself into a superhero and save the world at short notice.

In 1972 David Bowie changed the face of pop music with an alter ego. He called it Ziggy Stardust ~ or is it a he?

“What I did with my Ziggy Stardust was package a totally credible, plastic rock & roll singer – much better than the Monkees could ever fabricate,” David Bowie explained later. “I mean, my plastic rock & roller was much more plastic than anybody’s. And that was what was needed at the time.”

to be continued…