The End Of The World

(translation of Franz Hohler's poem 'Der Weltuntergang')

The end of the world, 
ladies and gentlemen, 
given what we know today, 
will go something like this:

Malcolm Lightbody on Unsplash

In the beginning, on a fairly small island in the South Pacific, 
a beetle will vanish, 
an unpleasant one, and 
everyone will say, 
That beetle’s gone, at last, thank God 
the horrible itch it used to cause, 
and it was always full of grot. 

A little later, the inhabitants of this island will notice 
that early in the morning 
when the birds are singing 
one voice is missing, 
a high and rather shrill one 
like the chirping of a cricket 
the voice belongs, so much is clear, 
to an insect-eating warbler, 
and the grotty little beetle was its staple. 

Patrice Bouchard on Unsplash

A little later, the fishermen of this island will note that in their nets 
one kind is missing, 
a small, but very tender fish which – 
Here I must interrupt and mention 
That the bird with the fairly shrill voice 
Had, or will have had the habit, 
to fly across the sea in a big wide loop, 
during this flight it would drop its poop, 
and to the small but very tender kind of fish 
the poop of the bird 
was its daily bread. 

A little later, the inhabitants of the continent 
not far from the fairly small island in the Pacific will notice that everywhere, 
in the trees, on the grass, on the handles of their doors, 
on the food, in the clothes, on the skin and in the hair, tiny black bugs start to appear, 
no-one has ever seen them before. 
And they cannot understand 
for they will not be aware 
That a bigger fish in turn, and not a tender one at all, 
which used to feed on the small and very tender one, 
has begun to hunt another kind, 
a yellow stickleback of equal size 
which used to snap up those black bugs. 

Daniel Leonforte on Unsplash

A little later the inhabitants of Europe, 
— that’s us — 
will notice the rise in the price of eggs. 
In fact, they will soar. 
And chicken farmers will say 
that the corn 
of which the chickenfeed is made 
and which comes from the continent near the fairly small island in the Pacific 
all of a sudden can’t be bought, 
for there was a plague of insects 
and though the plague could be defeated with success 
alas, the corn was poisoned in the process. 

A little later 
Now things speed up 
no chicken is left for the plate at all. 
In exchange for corn in the chickenfeed 
the fishmeal was doubled 
But every fish contains today 
a certain mercury amount 
low enough, till then, not to wipe anyone out 
but now, worldwide, the chicken bite the dust. 

Autumn Mott on Unsplash

A little later 
The inhabitants of that fairly small island in the southern Pacific will 
get a fright and they will run into their houses because they had never seen what happened then. 
The tide that day — 
and here one must mention that 
the sky was blue and there was no wind 
the waves were small and the weather nice 
and despite all this — 
The tide covered the island’s shores, 
And of course nobody knew that on the same day 
People all over the world ran into their houses 
And called the rising of the sea by name. 

A little later 
The inhabitants of that fairly small island in the southern Pacific 
will climb onto the roofs of their housed and from there into their fishing boats 
To sail towards the continent where the thing with the corn happened earlier. 
But the sea has already risen several meters, and the cities on the coast and their harbours lie already deep under water 
Because here is the thing, 
All of the fowl, thats six trillion pieces 
Had to be burned, poisoned as it was, 
And the coal dust, 
with all the strain from the warmth and all the burning, 
Pushed the atmosphere over the edge. 
It let the sunshine in as before 
BUT IT LET IT OUT NO MORE 
And so the air became so hot 
That the ice on the poles began to melt 
The cold succumbed 
And sea levels swelled. 

Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash

A little later the people 
Who have fled meanwhile into the mountains 
Will spot behind the summits 
Far away on the horizon 
A strange pale light, 
And they don’t know what to make of it, 
For there is a distant grumbling 
And some of the elders may assume 
That the fight of the Great ones now begins 
over the last pieces of space for their people 
And one asks in a bitter tone 
How on earth could it come to this? 
Well, ladies and gentlemen 
The sea level rose because the air got warmer 
The air got warmer because the chicken burnt 
And the chicken were burned because they had mercury 
Mercury got into them because of the fish meal 
And fishmeal was fed to chicken because there was no corn 
Corn grew no more because poison was used 
Poison was used against the insects 
The insects came because a fish no longer ate them 
The fish didn’t eat them because it was eaten, because another fish perished, 
Because a bird no longer flew, and the bird didn’t fly because a beetle disappeared, that 
filthy beetle who started it all. 

Ben Wicks on Unsplash

The question remains 
Ask it without further ado 
Why did that beetle vanish? 
That, ladies and gentlemen, 
remains to be explained. 
I almost believe it ate the wrong food. 
Instead of eating grass, it ate grasses with oil. 
Instead of leaves, it ate leaves covered in soot 
Instead of drinking water it drank water with sulphur, 
and that’s how over time it destroyed itself
 
There is another question, 
And I’m getting ready, 
When will that be? 
Here the scientists usually scratch their hair, they say 
In ten years, or in twenty 
Maybe in fifty or in a hundred… 

I thought about it and my verdict is quite contrary 
In my view, 
The end of the world, ladies and gentlemen 
has 
Already 
begun

translated by Veronika Bond

This is a translation of Franz Hohler's satirical piece 'Der Weltuntergang,' first live performance with original musical accompaniment of the author in 1974

listen to the original here:

Franz Hohler, born 1943 in Biel, is one of the great contemporary writers of his native Switzerland. Hohler is an accomplished satirist, poet, novelist, storyteller, performer and musician. His work has been honoured with numerous awards. He calls himself a Language Artist